Dr Snow's Misfortunes
by FemaleChauvinist
Summary: At a medical conference, Dr Snow seems to be having a streak of bad luck…and it's up to Carlisle to rescue him…again and again.
1. Favor

**Disclaimer:** While the attempt has been made to be medically accurate, some artistic license has been taken, and statements made by Carlisle and other medical personnel are not to be regarded as authoritative.

Recognizable characters and plotlines are the property of Stephenie Meyer; all original characters and story © 2017 FemaleChauvinist.

 _Do not post without permission. Do not copy/print without including the above disclaimer in its entirety._

 **Chapter One: Favor**

 _Pre-Twilight Forks_

 **Carlisle**

I was in my study, getting ready to leave for a three-day medical conference, when the phone rang. I reached to pick up the receiver on my desk; it was seldom a call came here for anyone else. "Dr Carlisle Cullen."

"Cullen, it's Dr Snow."

"What can I do for you, Dr Snow?"

"A favor, actually. My wife's car broke down, and she's going to need to use mine the next few days. Could I hitch a ride to the conference with you?"

"Of course," I agreed easily. "I'll pick you up in…about an hour."

"Thanks, Cullen. Anytime I can return the favor…"

I chuckled softly. "Don't mention it."

I hung up the phone and went to tell Esme that we would be leaving a little earlier than we had planned.

 **oOo**

"I didn't realize you were joining us, Mrs Cullen," Dr Snow commented as he got in the backseat after putting his suitcase in the trunk.

Esme turned to smile at him. "Please, call me Esme. Yes, I like to join Carlisle on these trips when I can."

Dr Snow shuddered. "With five teenagers, I'd be afraid the house wouldn't be standing when I got back."

Esme and I shared a smile. "Our kids are pretty trustworthy," I commented. If they _did_ destroy the house, at least I was fairly certain they'd have it repaired before we got back.

Dr Snow fell silent, and Esme and I talked and laughed softly as I drove. My hand covered hers on the console between us, and she warned me with a quiet "Carlisle" whenever I started driving more than twenty miles per hour over the speed limit. It would have been safe even for the human, of course, but I hardly wanted word to get around that Dr Cullen was a reckless driver.

 **Next chapter coming next week!**

 _I proofread all my stories at least once before posting, but if you see any mistakes I might have missed, please let me know!_

 _Please note that I have internet access only once a week, and may not have time to respond to all reviews/messages. If you have questions regarding my Twilight alternate history, check my profile first to see if they're answered there. Thanks for your understanding! Barbie_


	2. Reservations

**Chapter Two: Reservations**

We arrived at the hotel within several hours; longer than it usually took me, but probably record time for Dr Snow.

I pulled up in front of the building to check in, and opened Esme's door for her with a slight bow. "M'lady."

"M'lord," Esme giggled, laying her hand in mine as she stepped gracefully from the car. I kissed the tips of her fingers before tucking her hand in the crook of my arm.

Dr Snow had gotten out of the car and was staring at us with his mouth slightly open; he had met Esme only once or twice, and never when we were letting ourselves go like this.

I pulled open the door to the hotel and waved him in ahead of us. Esme and I smiled into each other's faces as we followed him to the counter.

"I'm sorry, sir," the clerk said, his voice lacking sympathy, "but I don't have a reservation for you. The only Snow here is a Horace Snow, and he checked in an hour ago."

"Well…can't you get me a room anyway?"

The clerk's hands moved over the keys. "I'm sorry, sir; all our rooms are booked."

"What about other hotels?"

He shook his head. "I doubt you'll find any openings; there are several big events in town this week and everything's full. I'm sorry."

"But —"

I gently laid a hand on Dr Snow's shoulder and stepped forward. "Is the Cullen reservation there?"

He typed something in and looked up with a bit more interest. "Carlisle?"

"Yes."

"Luxury suite?"

"Yes."

"Everything's in order, sir." His manner had become more solicitous, dealing with a well-paying customer.

"Good. Now why don't you charge Dr Snow for the occupancy fee for another person, and let him sleep on the sofa in our room?" My smile was friendly, my voice mild, yet the clerk understood that it was not merely a suggestion.

"Of course, sir," he murmured, typing information into the computer. "Here are three keys; it's room 314 on the third floor."

"Thank you. I assume you'll send a maid with some extra bedding?"

"Yes, sir; right away, sir. Is there anything else?"

"No, thank you."

"Have a good day, sir."

"I'll go up to the room while you move the car and get the suitcases," Esme said.

"All right, love," I murmured, leaning to give her a quick kiss on the cheek before turning away. "Come on," I said to Dr Snow. "Let's go get those suitcases."

He seemed to come unfrozen then. "Thanks, Cullen. I seem to be imposing on you quite a bit today."

"It isn't your fault," I assured him.

It was a cloudy day, and Alice had assured me it would remain so the entire three days. Still, I chose a parking spot that would be shaded by the building most of the day, if the sun happened to come out. We got our suitcases from the trunk and took the elevator to the third floor.

Dr Snow's eyes widened when he saw the room; he whistled softly. "They weren't kidding when they called this a luxury suite; how much do you pay for a room like this?"

I chuckled softly, but chose to take the question as rhetorical.

The maid had already been here; a pillow lay on the end of the sofa with a sheet and blanket folded on top. "Will one blanket be enough for you?" I asked him.

"Oh…sure." He still seemed bewildered at the appearance of the room, hardly noticing as I slipped into the bedroom.

Esme sat on the edge of the bed, a troubled look on her face.

"Is something wrong, love?"

She looked up. "It doesn't seem right, Carlisle, letting him sleep on the sofa when we don't even need a bed."

I raised an eyebrow, giving her a devilish grin. "On the contrary, love, I think a bed is precisely what we do need. What's an eightieth honeymoon without it?"

She giggled. "We'll have to be quiet…"

"We'll manage. And who would blame me for romancing my beautiful wife?"

She laughed, leaning into me as I sat beside her and put an arm around her. "You'll notice the door to the bathroom is outside the bedroom door," I whispered into her hair; "he'll have no reason to walk in on us in the night."

Esme laughed again, and then sighed. "But we don't _need_ the bed, Carlisle."

I touched a finger to her lips. "But he thinks we do. I very much doubt he'd agree to take the bed while the two of us sleep on the sofa. It's a soft sofa, Esme, and plenty big enough."

Esme sighed and got up. "All right, Carlisle. I'll go see if he wants me to make it up for him."

I let her go; there was no use telling her it wasn't her responsibility to mother the man.

 **oOo**

"Is there a phone book in this room?" Dr Snow asked. "I need to find a number for a taxi."

"Where are you going?" I questioned.

"Oh…there's this restaurant here that serves the best lobster; I always like to visit when I'm in the area. Do you two want to come? My treat."

He was trying to repay me for the ride and the room, I supposed, but I shook my head. "Esme and I aren't that fond of lobster."

"Well, they do serve other things."

I smiled. "Appreciate the offer, but I think we'll pass tonight. But here, there's no need to call a taxi; take the Mercedes."

He reflexively caught the keys I tossed him and stood staring at them. "Cullen! Are you sure?"

"Just be careful with it," I warned lightly, "and try to get the same parking spot when you get back."

"All right…thanks."

"Esme and I will probably turn in early, so just leave the key on the table when you get back."

"Will do. Sure you won't come?"

"Yes. Have a good time."

I waited until the door closed behind him, then turned to Esme with an eyebrow raised in invitation. "Shall we, my sweet?"

 **Next chapter coming next week!**

 _I proofread all my stories at least once before posting, but if you see any mistakes I might have missed, please let me know!_

 _Please note that I have internet access only once a week, and may not have time to respond to all reviews/messages. If you have questions regarding my Twilight alternate history, check my profile first to see if they're answered there. Thanks for your understanding! Barbie_


	3. Money Matters

**Chapter Three: Money Matters**

We were making use of the bed when the telephone rang. I growled at it, and Esme whispered in a sultry voice, "Just let it ring!"

I gave her a throaty chuckle, but rolled away to pick up the receiver. "Hello, Dr Carlisle Cullen."

"Cullen, it's Snow. Would you look and see if I left my wallet in the room?"

"Sure." I got up and quickly surveyed the living room. "Sorry, it's not here."

Dr Snow groaned. "I must have left it at home… Look, Cullen, they want to call the police on me if I can't pay for my meal…"

"Ask them to hold off a few minutes; what's the name of the restaurant?"

He gave me the name and location, and I returned to the bedroom to find Esme half sitting leaning on her elbow, pouting. "Couldn't you have just told him where to find some money in the Mercedes?"

"It sounds like they're already pretty suspicious of him at the restaurant," I told her, quickly getting dressed. "I'm not sure what they'd think if he wanted to get money out of a borrowed car."

"Hurry back."

"I will, love," I promised softly.

I went on foot through the dark alleyways; it was quicker than calling a taxi.

"I'm here for Dr Snow," I told the hostess when I arrived. "I believe there was some problem about paying for his meal?"

"Oh, yes. This way, please, sir." I caught her quick glance at my ring finger, and the slight disappointment that crossed her face. It didn't take Edward to know what she was thinking…

A red-faced Dr Snow sat with the manager in a small room. He jumped to his feet as I walked in. "Cullen! This is so embarrassing, especially after I offered to treat you, but…"

I laid a hand on his arm. "No harm done," I said easily. "Here, this should cover it." I handed a bill to the manager with a smile. "Keep the change."

His eyes went wide. "Oh…ah…thank you, sir! And I do apologize for the inconvenience; you understand we have to be careful about these things."

"Of course," I agreed. "Have a good night."

"Where did you park?" I questioned as Dr Snow and I left the building.

"This way," he answered, turning to the side. "Thanks for bailing me out, Cullen."

I shrugged in the darkness. "Don't mention it. But are you certain you left your wallet at home?"

He frowned, concentrating as he got into the passenger side of the Mercedes and passed the keys to me. "I wouldn't swear to it," he said finally. "I could have lost it somewhere."

"Then you should probably report it to the police, and call the credit card company to cancel any cards you had in it."

"I'd hate to do that and then find it sitting on my dresser at home."

I pulled out my cell phone and handed it to him. "Here, call your wife and ask her to check."

He dialed the number quickly, then waited as it rang. "Hey, Marlene, it's me. Yeah, I'm fine, but I don't seem to have my wallet with me. Could you look and see if it's in the house?…Yeah, on the dresser where I always keep it…All right, thanks…Can you give me the number of the credit card company, Mar'? Well, it should be on the bill." He looked frantically for something to write with, and I handed him the small pad and pen from my pocket. "…2749. Got it. And what's our card number? Okay. Thanks, Mar'. See you soon. 'Night." He sighed as he handed me the phone. "I don't suppose it could be in this car somewhere?"

I flipped the light on and quickly checked the back seat. "No, sorry. We'll drive to the police station, and then you can call the credit card company from the hotel."

I waited in the car while he went into the police station; no sense embarrassing him further by implying that he wasn't capable of filing a complaint on his own. While I waited, I pulled a bank envelope out of the glove compartment and quickly removed half of the bills it held. It wasn't the only money I had stashed in the car, but it was the most easily accessible.

Dr Snow sighed as he returned to the car. "They said there's not much they can do, unless someone turns it in or tries to use the credit card." He stared shamefacedly at his hands. "Look, Cullen, I hate to ask, but…"

I passed him the handful of bills I held. "That should cover it until you get home," I said quietly.

He squinted, trying to read the denominations in the dim light, not quite believing his eyes. "Five hundred…? Cullen, do you honestly think I'll spend this much?"

I shrugged. "Spend it or don't spend it; it's yours either way."

"But you'll want it back."

"Not necessary."

He stared at me. "What's it like, Cullen, having so much money you can toss it around as if it grew on trees?"

I chuckled softly, but didn't answer. In all honesty, money meant absolutely nothing to me; it was worth little more than the paper it was printed on.

When we reached the hotel room, he called the credit card company from the phone by the sofa while I slipped back in to Esme.

"Miss me?" she teased.

"Mmm," I murmured, sliding into bed beside her. "The way his luck is going, Esme, maybe you'd better leave the room before he shaves tomorrow morning."

 **Next chapter coming next week!**

 _I proofread all my stories at least once before posting, but if you see any mistakes I might have missed, please let me know!_

 _Please note that I have internet access only once a week, and may not have time to respond to all reviews/messages. If you have questions regarding my Twilight alternate history, check my profile first to see if they're answered there. Thanks for your understanding! Barbie_


	4. Doctor's Doctor

**Chapter Four: Doctor's Doctor**

I was sitting in the first session of the medical conference when my cell phone vibrated against my leg. I pulled it out and glanced at the screen before answering. "Esme?" I said, softly enough not to disturb the humans around me. "What's wrong?"

"Dr Snow came back to the room because he wasn't feeling well; I think you should come check on him."

"I'm on my way, love." I pocketed the phone and slipped out of my seat, moving past the humans so smoothly that they barely noticed my passage. I took the stairs; with no one else there it was faster than the elevator.

When I opened the door to the room, I saw Esme crouching beside the sofa. Dr Snow lay there, clutching the empty ice bucket. He was so pale that his face was barely darker than Esme's hand as she brushed it across his forehead.

"Is he feverish?" I asked, already focusing on his heart rate and breathing as I went to wash my hands at the kitchen sink.

"A little," she replied.

"I'm fine," Dr Snow groaned.

I raised an eyebrow as I came to take Esme's place by his side. "You don't look fine."

"Just an upset stomach…don't need a doctor."

"Well, let me check you for Esme's peace of mind, then," I said easily. I pressed my hand to his forehead; my senses were a little off from washing my hands in hot water, but I judged his temperature to be around a hundred.

He retched suddenly, then vomited into the bucket as I supported his head. He seemed even paler when he had finished, lying back weakly. I took the glass of water Esme handed me and held it to his lips. "Just sip," I cautioned. "Do you feel any better now?"

"No…not really."

"How long have you been feeling sick?"

"Queasy all morning…just got really bad half an hour ago."

"Is there any pain?"

"No."

I wondered whether to believe him; I had heard that doctors made the worst patients. I gently palpated his stomach and abdomen, watching for signs of tenderness. Finally I pulled out my stethoscope for a perfunctory exam; it was only for show. With my vampire hearing, I could hear the faint echoes of the sounds in the rubber tubing, the sounds themselves slightly muffled and slurred together. I could hear problems better without the instrument.

"I think it's a case of food poisoning," I decided, my sense of smell giving me information most doctors would have needed to run tests to find out. "That lobster you had last night must have been tainted. As long as you don't get too dehydrated or have any other complications, I think we'll let it run its course."

"Told you I didn't need a doctor," he groaned. "Oh!" He doubled up, clutching his abdomen, and I eyed him with concern.

"Are you all right?"

"I need the toilet," he whispered urgently.

With an arm around his shoulders, I helped him to his feet and supported most of his weight until we reached the bathroom door. "Will you be all right by yourself?"

"Yes," he managed, clutching at the sink.

I pulled the door shut for him. "Call me if you need me."

Esme appeared at my side, her eyes worried. "Carlisle, will he be all right? I thought food poisoning was dangerous."

"It can be," I admitted, "but most people just feel pretty sick for a few days." I sighed, shaking my head. "He won't be attending the rest of the conference, though."

Esme flitted away as the bathroom door opened and Dr Snow appeared. He looked ready to collapse, and I was quick to put an arm around him and lead him to the bed.

"But — you and Esme…?" he protested weakly when he realized what I was doing.

"Esme can take the sofa," I told him. I grimaced slightly; not only would I miss my Esme, I would have to lie in bed and pretend to sleep. "You're a sick man; you should be in bed. Do you want your pajamas?"

"Sure…" he mumbled.

I ran my hands under the hot water again before returning to help him into the more comfortable clothes. It took away the chill, though the effects were short-lived.

He was starting to doze off as I pulled the blankets over him, but I returned once more with a glass of water, urging him to take a few sips.

Dr Snow slept most of the day, his rest interrupted only by bouts of vomiting and diarrhea. At ten o'clock that evening, Esme and I were half reclined on the sofa, leaning against each other in the middle. ***** "Think he'll believe I fell asleep here?" I whispered into her hair.

"Maybe he's too sick to notice if you don't come to bed," she murmured in response.

At a groan from the bedroom, I got to my feet. "Or sick enough to keep me up all night," I grumbled teasingly.

Esme laughed heartlessly; she had sympathy for the sick man, but not for his doctor.

 **Next chapter coming next week!**

 *** Illustration for this scene can be found at femalechauvinist**. **deviantart**. **com** [slash] **art** [slash] **Sleepless-Night-686816724**

 _I proofread all my stories at least once before posting, but if you see any mistakes I might have missed, please let me know!_

 _Please note that I have internet access only once a week, and may not have time to respond to all reviews/messages. If you have questions regarding my Twilight alternate history, check my profile first to see if they're answered there. Thanks for your understanding! Barbie_


	5. Esme

**Chapter Five: Esme**

When I had finished tending him, I accepted the fact that a human would probably try to catch a few hours' sleep. I unbuttoned my shirt, pulling it free of my waistband and removing my belt and shoes. I emptied my pockets onto the nightstand before sliding into the other side of the large bed.

For half an hour I lay there, trying to time my breathing to the rhythm of a sleeping human and shifting position occasionally.

Then I heard light footsteps moving across the carpet, and Esme appeared beside me. "Move over," she whispered.

I did as she asked without thinking. "Esme, love, is this proper?" I whispered as she slipped under the covers beside me.

She laid her hand on my cheek. "He doesn't even know I'm here," she breathed. "There's plenty of room, and you're between me and him." She smiled softly. "Just don't get carried away."

I sighed with satisfied pleasure, letting my fingers pull through her hair. Pretending to sleep seemed easy now, as we whispered love into each other's ears for the rest of the night.

 **oOo**

I left Dr Snow with Esme the next day, coming back to check on him during the breaks. At lunchtime I brought him some soup, and he was able to keep down some of the broth.

By the evening of the third day, he was well enough that Esme and I went out to a concert as we had planned. I hadn't intended to turn him out of the bed, but when we came back he was already asleep on the sofa.

I paused, listening to his heart and breathing before turning to Esme. "Well, love, as we have the bedroom to ourselves again, what does thou say to a soak in the hot tub?"

Esme smiled; she loved when I spoke to her in the intimate fashion of my youth. "It sounds wonderful, handsome sir."

The large tub sat in a tiled corner of the bedroom; in a short time I had it filled with hot water and rose-scented bubbles.

Esme sighed with pleasure as my fingers massaged her scalp; she loved when I washed her hair for her and I was passionately, jealously glad she had not cut it in her human days, when bobbed hair was the fashion.

When at last we got into the bed, it was not to pretend to sleep.

 **Next chapter coming next week!**

 _I proofread all my stories at least once before posting, but if you see any mistakes I might have missed, please let me know!_

 _Please note that I have internet access only once a week, and may not have time to respond to all reviews/messages. If you have questions regarding my Twilight alternate history, check my profile first to see if they're answered there. Thanks for your understanding! Barbie_


	6. Home Again

**Sorry I posted the wrong chapter last week! Here's the correct one, and thanks to the two reviewers who let me know about it. Barbie**

 **Chapter Six: Home Again**

Esme and I left the room the next morning, claiming to be going down for breakfast. I had something light sent up to Dr Snow from the restaurant, and then Esme and I walked around outside the hotel in the cool fog.

When we returned, Dr Snow had his suitcase packed. "Stay here with Esme," I told him; "I'll take that down to the car." I picked up his suitcase and mine and Esme's and was out the door before he could object.

When I reentered the room, he was holding the folded wad of bills I had given him. "Cullen, I never had the chance to spend any of this," he said, holding it out to me.

I shook my head. "Keep it," I said shortly. I turned to Esme. "Do you have everything, love?"

She nodded, slipping her hand into my arm.

"What about you, Dr Snow?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah…I have everything. Look, Cullen, about this money…"

"Keep it, or leave it in the room, or toss it out the window; I really don't care." I knew he would keep it; money had too much value to him for him to be able to throw it away.

I kept my eye on him as we walked down to the lobby; he was still weaker than he cared to admit.

I checked out quickly, paying for the room in cash. Credit cards left too much record of our presence, though we used them sometimes.

"Take the front seat," I told Dr Snow. "It's a smoother ride, and you can recline the seat."

"I'm all right!" he grumbled. But he climbed into the front seat and put the back down without arguing. As I drove, I could soon tell that he had drifted to sleep; Esme laughed softly as I at once began accelerating closer to my normal speed.

"What's the good of a fast car if I can't use it to its potential?" I asked teasingly.

She only shook her head; she had no real interest in cars herself and didn't fully understand our obsession with speed.

I pulled smoothly into Dr Snow's driveway and reached to shake his shoulder. "Dr Snow? We're here."

He sat up, blinking sleep from his eyes. "Already? What time is it?"

I shut the car off before he could focus on the dashboard clock. "You fell asleep," I said smoothly. I got out of the car with him, opening the trunk and pulling out his suitcase. He reached to take it, but I shook my head. "I'll carry it for you."

He glared at me. "I'm not an invalid, Cullen!"

I merely raised one eyebrow at him; he gave a "Humph" and turned to walk toward the house.

Marlene Snow met us at the door, and I could see at once that she was nervous about something. "Hello, Dr Cullen," she greeted me, too brightly. "Would you like to come in? Gerald…"

Dr Snow sank into a chair, pressing a hand to his forehead. "What now?" he groaned.

"I'm all right — really I am — but the car — the tree was coming too fast, you see, and —"

I silently shook my head, deciding it was no longer my responsibility to rescue Dr Snow from his misfortunes. Setting the suitcase down, I slipped out and joined Esme in the car.

"What does thou say I play hooky from the hospital?" I whispered, leaning to kiss her lips. "We could fly down to Isle Esme…have a real honeymoon with no unlucky humans…?"

Esme moaned softly. "Don't you have to cover for him for a few days until he's strong again?"

"There is that," I admitted, straightening reluctantly and starting the car. I tapped the tip of her nose. "Never mind, Esme my sweet. I'll get away as soon as I can…and this time, it will be just the two of us."

"And that's a promise, Carlisle Cullen!"

I smiled at her and reached to pull her against my side, driving easily with one hand. "Just the two of us," I murmured. "And that's a promise."

The End

 _I proofread all my stories at least once before posting, but if you see any mistakes I might have missed, please let me know!_

 _Please note that I have internet access only once a week, and may not have time to respond to all reviews/messages. If you have questions regarding my Twilight alternate history, check my profile first to see if they're answered there. Thanks for your understanding! Barbie_


End file.
